It's my birthday - I turn 38 years old today. I love my birthday. A day to celebrate my life - the miracle of my life - that I'd ever have been created. Then to be born though my father attempted to kick my mother's stomach so that I wouldn't be. Then left with a woman that abused me while my mother attempted to find a way to take care of me. Years of poverty, living in a home with alcoholic parents, neglect, abuse and finally a foster home.
Today I am 38 and those things seem so far behind. Now I have 4 children of my own. I hold a precious 9 month old and consider what I might have been like at that age. What might have made the rest of my life different at 9 months, What if someone had led Roger Ericson to Christ and he had gathered his family together and lead a Christian Home?
So many families helped to raise me - so many provisions made by God through them. So many friends who listened, encouraged and loved me when I was unlovable. A past I often choose to not reflect on - I have sometimes wished I could erase and sometimes wished I could share. All leading me to my now.
A husband who loves me - four beautiful blessings - a house with plenty of projects - a church full of fellow believers in Christ - friends who love me for who I am - neighbors who are friendly - a town with a small hometown feel - a Country with freedom and hope. Thirty-Eight today and looking back - inspecting my now. A Christian wife, mother, soccer mom, Baptist, American, church member, sister, daughter, daughter-in- law, sister-in-law, aunt, friend, neighbor, Republican, homeschooler all the boxes I am supposed to fit in... and still I feel like me.
I have to look ahead - year 38 - a miracle still to me. I am alive - I shouldn't be. I am me and glad to be. Proberbs 3:5-6 is my life verse. This my 38th year I hold even dearer the words I know so well - Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths. I can't wait to see where God leads me as I stay on His path.
I love you! and that totally made me cry! :)
Posted by: Thejoysoffamilyandhearth.blogspot.com | Wednesday, May 26, 2010 at 11:05 AM