Homemaking 4 His Glory

Sit Still, My daughter

Sit Still

The pastor is preaching on chapter one in Ruth. I am not paying attention. I am flipping ahead. This is only one of two books named for a woman. Four chapters.. I scan through them. Then these words catch my eye in Chapter 3 Then said she, Sit still, my daughter, until thou know how the matter will fall.

Oh how out of my nature that is.. Sit still. To do nothing but wait. Why? Because Ruth had done what she could. Because when we have done all we can do we need to not Do anything else. Wait is implied. Can wait be spiritual? Can wait be what we are supposed to do?

In a society that tells us to keep doing, to stay busy, these words seem absurd. “Sit still, my daughter” the words are there, in my Bible. Oh how often, God has said to me “rest” or “be still” Yet somehow on this Sunday, when I am not paying attention to what the pastor is saying. These words speak to me. These words jump out of the page. These words must be imprinted on my heart. Shared with others.

Yes, we need to do what we can. Do the next right thing. When you don’t know what to do, do what you know to do. But, sometimes, we MUST.. Sit still, my daughter, until thou know how the matter will fall.  Can you hear your Heavenly Father?  Some days He whispers it... sit still, My daughter.  In that moment, Doing anything is the wrong thing.  The only thing that must be done is sitting still.

NO saying NO!

I am sitting in a Diner with another family. We all have empty plates in front of us. The children are restless. We are waiting for the check. Finally, my children go under the table to play. Yep on the floor… however, I am holding a baby and in a booth with people on both sides of me. My friend is horrified. I am letting them play on the floor, under the table where people put their feet.

I respond calmly, I can say No.. Get up here. And perhaps they will obey. But I am not in any position to discipline them if they do not obey. Therefore, playing on the floor is the better solution. Saying no this and no that, takes away the meaning of the word no. If we say NO, we must be able to insure that No really means NO.

Because I could not do so.. I said NO I will not tell them to come up here. The risk was to great. If they learned I could be disobeyed in certain situations, when trapped in diner booths, when waiting for a bill, etc. They would wait for a similar situation and disobey again. If I was on the end of the booth, if my husband had been there, then I would have been able to say No playing under the table, please come sit up here. And if they did not comply I would have been able to discipline them if they didn’t.

Do not say “No” when you can not enforce it. Do not say no at all if you can help it. Saying No as little as possible is one of our parenting goals. It means I have to think as a parent if the No is necessary. It means my children respect the word NO when I say it.

I am in the kitchen making dinner and my 10 year old asks to bake a cake. I want to say, “Can’t you see I am making dinner.. I am using the oven.. You will be in my way.. No you can not make a cake right now.” But if I do I will hurt her feelings. So I stop and think. She wants to make a cake for dessert, her desire is not wrong, mean or negative in anyway. So I say with a smile, “Yes you can make a cake.. Just mix it on this counter and when I have all the food on the table we will put it in the oven.”

My darling three year old is building with blocks and her brother messes up her masterpiece. I watch quietly. She protests loudly and starts to move toward him with a hand in the air. I am not longer quiet.. NO! Put your hand down! She immediately does so. No isn’t said that often. Therefore, she knows it is to be obeyed instantaneously. Peace is restored as the older child quickly apologizes. It seems he didn’t recognize the blocks were a masterpiece. Catching her hand in midair and being able to control it. Taught her that she is not allowed to hit. Yes, I will have to watch and be sure to catch her the next time or two. However, No being a respected word will make this much easier training.

I have watched the mothers at the park, in the grocery store, saying No to this and No to that and then giving in or worse yet seeing themselves disobeyed and laughing. He never listens they will say and go on talking. They have just taught that no has no meaning. Silence would have been better.

Use NO wisely. Use it when you mean it. Use it when you can discipline and back it up. Say yes as much as you can.