Homemaking 4 His Glory

Sanity for $1.00

     Seriously..... Sanity for $1.00?  Obviously, I don't know what you are dealing with.  The house, the marriage, the children, homeschool, a full time job, church commitments, friends, extended family, health issues, trying to lose weight... etc etc... Here is the thing.. I do know.. I get it.  I have many of those situations in my own life.  So what is the magic $1.00 answer?  Well, my local grocery store had a regular notebook on sale for $.25 and a package of pens on sale for $.75... yeah I know tax... so not quite $1.00. 

     So.. I bought the pens and the notebook and decided instead of using a moleskin or hardcover journal I was going to try to use a regular notebook for my organization.  The notebook does have perforated pages so that is helpful in case I decided to tear pages out later to move to a 3-ring binder, something I am currently considering now that I have filled one and am starting my second notebook.  So I found that I liked the Bullet Journal concept but I am not really that crafty etc.   I needed more space than the hardcover journals I tried gave me and I thought why am I being a snob, what if a notebook was the answer.  So, I bought 20 of them.. and then found then for cheaper at Staples the following week and bought more.  Yep, cheaper sanity.. I already owned 10 pens...

     Numbering the pages, adding and index and a key to the back page ~ all bullet journal ideas has helped me immensely.  I think I am going to also leave a blank page in the beginning to be a space for me to summarize the time period the journal covers.  I have learned not to number all the pages since the notebook seems to lend itself to children drawing in it and or pages getting torn out.. so I number it as I go along.  I do add the daily and monthly pages the bullet journal method calls for and a weekly spread.  This helps to keep my sanity.  I can see menu plan, events etc.

    Now what about all the other things in your head... dump them... into your notebook.  Add what you can to your calendar... but the other stuff.. projects start a page.  Homeschool units.. start a page.  Women you would like to have for lunch.. start a page.  Christmas gift ideas.. movies to watch on Netflix, date ideas for time with your spouse, prayer list... etc.  It can all go here.  You can even keep a journal of what has happened ... just write a few sentences.. it really does help to remember all those things that you think you will.. but will fade in time. 

     Journaling has helped me in so many ways.  It helps me to make decisions.  It helps me to see if I am keeping my goals.  It helps me to remember where I am supposed to be and what I am supposed to be doing.  It helps me to track bills, weight loss goals, hours completed for homeschool etc..  Don't think that a pen and paper is an answer you have already heard.. already tried etc.. and just ignore this post.  Try again.. here are two huge reasons it won't work.  It won't work if you don't look at it consistently.  You need to have times you check in with it.  Morning and Night to plan the day and to write about the day are easiest.  I keep mine with me.  I use it for family meetings in the morning and for information needed throughout the day.  If you check Facebook 10 times a day.. then you can do this.. start checking your notebook.  The other reason this won't work is if you don't write in it.. the information has to be in there.  You have to write, draw, plan, etc.. it won't just magically appear.

     This will work if you overcome those two obstacles.  You may even have a notebook and pen in your house right now.. Look at you saving money.  Go get them.. check out the bullet journal video linked below.  Take a deep breath.  Start using your notebook and start writing.  I have found it has offered me a way to stay sane as life gets busy and I need to keep up, or delegate or just say no to something.  I can see it all in one place and I don't have to keep reminding myself in my head. 

Sit Still, My daughter

Sit Still

The pastor is preaching on chapter one in Ruth. I am not paying attention. I am flipping ahead. This is only one of two books named for a woman. Four chapters.. I scan through them. Then these words catch my eye in Chapter 3 Then said she, Sit still, my daughter, until thou know how the matter will fall.

Oh how out of my nature that is.. Sit still. To do nothing but wait. Why? Because Ruth had done what she could. Because when we have done all we can do we need to not Do anything else. Wait is implied. Can wait be spiritual? Can wait be what we are supposed to do?

In a society that tells us to keep doing, to stay busy, these words seem absurd. “Sit still, my daughter” the words are there, in my Bible. Oh how often, God has said to me “rest” or “be still” Yet somehow on this Sunday, when I am not paying attention to what the pastor is saying. These words speak to me. These words jump out of the page. These words must be imprinted on my heart. Shared with others.

Yes, we need to do what we can. Do the next right thing. When you don’t know what to do, do what you know to do. But, sometimes, we MUST.. Sit still, my daughter, until thou know how the matter will fall.  Can you hear your Heavenly Father?  Some days He whispers it... sit still, My daughter.  In that moment, Doing anything is the wrong thing.  The only thing that must be done is sitting still.

NO saying NO!

I am sitting in a Diner with another family. We all have empty plates in front of us. The children are restless. We are waiting for the check. Finally, my children go under the table to play. Yep on the floor… however, I am holding a baby and in a booth with people on both sides of me. My friend is horrified. I am letting them play on the floor, under the table where people put their feet.

I respond calmly, I can say No.. Get up here. And perhaps they will obey. But I am not in any position to discipline them if they do not obey. Therefore, playing on the floor is the better solution. Saying no this and no that, takes away the meaning of the word no. If we say NO, we must be able to insure that No really means NO.

Because I could not do so.. I said NO I will not tell them to come up here. The risk was to great. If they learned I could be disobeyed in certain situations, when trapped in diner booths, when waiting for a bill, etc. They would wait for a similar situation and disobey again. If I was on the end of the booth, if my husband had been there, then I would have been able to say No playing under the table, please come sit up here. And if they did not comply I would have been able to discipline them if they didn’t.

Do not say “No” when you can not enforce it. Do not say no at all if you can help it. Saying No as little as possible is one of our parenting goals. It means I have to think as a parent if the No is necessary. It means my children respect the word NO when I say it.

I am in the kitchen making dinner and my 10 year old asks to bake a cake. I want to say, “Can’t you see I am making dinner.. I am using the oven.. You will be in my way.. No you can not make a cake right now.” But if I do I will hurt her feelings. So I stop and think. She wants to make a cake for dessert, her desire is not wrong, mean or negative in anyway. So I say with a smile, “Yes you can make a cake.. Just mix it on this counter and when I have all the food on the table we will put it in the oven.”

My darling three year old is building with blocks and her brother messes up her masterpiece. I watch quietly. She protests loudly and starts to move toward him with a hand in the air. I am not longer quiet.. NO! Put your hand down! She immediately does so. No isn’t said that often. Therefore, she knows it is to be obeyed instantaneously. Peace is restored as the older child quickly apologizes. It seems he didn’t recognize the blocks were a masterpiece. Catching her hand in midair and being able to control it. Taught her that she is not allowed to hit. Yes, I will have to watch and be sure to catch her the next time or two. However, No being a respected word will make this much easier training.

I have watched the mothers at the park, in the grocery store, saying No to this and No to that and then giving in or worse yet seeing themselves disobeyed and laughing. He never listens they will say and go on talking. They have just taught that no has no meaning. Silence would have been better.

Use NO wisely. Use it when you mean it. Use it when you can discipline and back it up. Say yes as much as you can.

The Way Home Beyond Feminism, Back to Reality By Mary Pride

     I am often asked what book helped me to set my course.. you know the one that isn't the BIBLE~  In 1995 I read a book that was so helpful in my seeing a vision of fulfillment inside the walls of my home.  Yes.. not JUST a Stay At Home mom.. but truly loving being home.  Intentionally, choosing to stay home and serve my family.

     This book led me home.. not just physically.. but mentally.. and in my heart too.  It made me see the value in using my time and talents to serve my family and others that God brings to our home.  That home could be a place of study, of creativity, of profit and productivity.  That I didn't need to strive to have it all by balancing working outside of the home and cleaning, running errands etc when I made it home finally.

     Yes, sometimes the tone of this book is a bit rough around the edges.. but the author's desire to love the Lord and share truth with fellow sisters in Christ is clear.  Will this book lead you home.. I don't know.. but hopefully it will soften your heart toward your God and your family.. hopefully it will lead you to the Bible to evaluate the choices available to you.  Read it.. throw it .. pick it up and read some more....  For me, this book is a reread when I feel like I am spinning my wheels.. share its concepts, talk through them.  But don't ignore this book....

Jesus Most Enduring

There is a time for everything

The right time to dance and the right time to sing

Then the right to mourn and even to cry

Within eternity doing right, I really do try

 

John the Baptist humble and clear

Repent, the baptized Christ is here

Jesus begins to say the word

Repent the time is now was heard

 

He began to call fishers of men

His ministry on earth to begin

Jesus began to preach Good News

The Kingdom of God is here don't refuse

 

The Father in heaven has made a way

For you to come to Him today

Joshua preached as for me and mine

We will serve the Lord, choose Thine

 

Blessed is the poor in spirit too

Sermon on the Mount, words true

Peter at the time of Pentecost

Repent, be saved, do not be lost

 

Paul in Acts let me introduce

My God to you only One, not deuce

Repent, only Christ do you say with your life?

Are others drawn to your peace or strife?

 

Now!  Right Now!  The time has come

For God's work to persistently be done

The Kingdom of God is at hand

We hear the words, do we understand?

 

So how do I earn my own way?

There is nothing but to look today

Jesus took on all of our sin

This is where our journey must begin

 

Sin is always a stumbling block

Except for when you look at the clock

Hours Minutes Seconds of now

You take a step.. to obey is how

 

There is no sin that can't be overcome

By Christ blood it has already been done

Praising God for my own Salvation

Yet, I still must do an evaluation

 

We must will ourselves to truth

Faith means we don't seek proof

We read the words, accepting you

The change begins and we know it's true

 

We can praise because we know that we know

Repent we need to say wherever we go

Being aware of the time and how to spend

To know every moment is Now not the end

 

Inspired by a sermon by Pastor Jim King

Summer of 2014

The Prince of Peace and the Price of Peace

If peace could be bought, what would it cost?

God willing paid the price for all lost

Shalom a concept we need to seek

Not possessing peace will keep us weak

 

God has provided the peace through His son

We only need to believe He is the One

The promis made and kept eternally

A Christ who is always there for me

 

Faith that demands us all the time

To not even resond would be a crime

It's offered by a God so true

Is it pride that will keep me for You?

 

Restoration, peace complete today

Jesus is truly the only way

A commited relationship with the Holy One

Obedience in love for what He has done

 

God's commitment is not ever in doubt

My heart ~ My mind what is it about?

About myself and selfish pleasure?

Or accepting and living for the only real treasure?

 

 

Spripture ~ II Cor 5

Isaiah 9:1-7

Romans 8:5-7 ; 15-17

 

Inspired by a same titled sermon

Preached by Pastor Chris Durkin

 

$20 Potty Training Program

     It is that time again.. a child has made it to the age of three... going potty when she wants to but not all the time.  So, it is time to implement my $20 potty training program... nope you do not have to send me $20...

     Here is how it works... I go to the dollar store and the soon to be potty trained child picks out 20 of the most wonderful toys ever made from their wide selection... and I buy some poster board.. ok so it is a $20.69 program... and some stickers.. so $22.69

     And then we come home, put on underwear or our birthday suit depending on the seaspn.  We put the wonderful treasure in a basket or on a shelf.. somewhere they can be seen.. Then we make a chart.. with 200 squares.. When there is a successful trip to the potty a sticker goes on the chart.. and when the chart get 10 stickers.. they get to select a prize.

By the time they have earned all 20 prizes they have gone to the bathroom successfully 200 times.  And Voila! a potty trained child.

When Our Eyes are Open

Life contains moments of awe

Moments where our emotions are raw

Desire and Glory reside in our hearts

Too many times this is where conceit starts

 

We must not seek glory for our own sake

It must be given to God in order to make

Our every desire recognized and known

If not it is life itself we bemoan

 

Our God's glory when shown to us

Requires we decide an action because

There is in our nature, our hearts and mind

A deep desire for truth in humankind

 

We will stand before the throne one day

Without fear or in a trembling way

Without fear with Christ our king

Or trembing if only our works we bring

 

Inspired by sermon of same title

Preached by Pastor Chris Durkin

on Jan 11 Colts Neck Community Church

Scriptire reading Luke 17:1-13

 

 

 

What Are We About?

Purpose is a word we hear so often

Jesus comes our hearts to soften

This is the change that makes it clear

It is God's promise in Christ we hear

 

And then we must only respond

This love and faithfulness is our bond

Then we can know where to stand

How to stay in God's own hand

 

Sharing Christ, His love and pain

Telling others can cause disdain

Yet this our mission from God above

May we do it in true Christian love

 

From Luke 4:14-21

Inspired by sermon from Pastor Chris Durkin of same title

 

The Price of "Paying" Attention To our Children

“The more attention you pay your child, the less attention your child will pay to you.” John Rosemond

I read this words recently in a book. And I thought for a second~ that can’t be right~ Children NEED our attention. Then I thought about where my children were at that moment while I was reading a book. One was upstairs watching a video. The two littlest ones were in the playroom playing house with dolls and their kitchen set. The boys were playing a game together. None of them had my attention at the moment~ and I had no plans to spend time with them till snacktime in 20 minutes. This statement was true. I had just heard so often how we must “PAY” attention to our children. That I couldn’t see the real meaning.

When parents spend all day watching their children.. the children expect to be watched.. and learn that they must have attention all day. And they whine, cry, misbehave etc to keep the attention on them. Giving our children a schedule, chores, rules and time with us~ has kept this in balance. We have a family meeting every morning. We have family time every night. We meet at the table 6 times a day for meals and snacks. We do not pay attention to our child all day long, every second and if you do.. I believe you will pay the price of having children that require, as well as demand your attention and that will NOT pay attention to YOU without great efforts on your part.

Our children know what is expected.. but when I am not teaching then, baking with them, cleaning with them etc.. they have freetime and freedom to go anywhere on the property as long as when I call they come. When there is an issue they lose freedom and have to stay where I can hear them.. if again there is a problem they have to stay where I can see them.. if again there is a problem they have to stay where I can touch them.. if there is a problem again they sit on my lap...

I can't remember a time where it has gone beyond stay where I can hear you. They are busy ~ playing, creating, reading etc. I don't hover over them.. I do stay aware. I do know them.. study them. I do spend time with them.

When I call them.. they know I have something to share with them.. maybe a game, or a task, or a new skill, maybe a video I think they might enjoy etc. They look forward to my call, they know the hours of family time.. and we enjoy one another and learn together. There is nurturing, caring and many discussions. When we have to discipline it is swift and often retraining is involved. But they are brief moment and peace is restored. The know I am here and present and for most children that is security. When they need my attention they invite me to an activity with them. I don’t have to “pay” attention, I can enjoy relationships and experiences.

Quote is from The New Six-Point Plan for Raising Happy, Healthy Children by John Rosemond.  I do not agree with everything he writes.. but he has some great points.  As always, hold everything up to the light of scripture.

A life changing book ~Early To Rise By Andy Traub

My husband has worked shiftwork the first 18 years of our marriage. I was determined that we would spend the most amount of time together as a family no matter what his work schedule was. So we always worked our schedule around his. I eventually started sleeping from 2AM to 8AM about ten years ago. And it worked on both of his schedules 6AM - 6PM or his 6PM to 6AM. My children mostly slept from 11-9. I would get up at 8 and have an hour before they awoke to have Bible Study, get dressed etc.

Every now and then I’d read a verse about rising early.. Or a book that suggested waking up early.. Sometimes even an article on successful people and how they were up early.. And I’d think yeah I should get up earlier.. Of course that would require I go to bed earlier.. And I was used to 2Am.. I would get a decent amount done in the late nights.

Then my husband’s schedule changed.. And I’d try to change my schedule and get up earlier. And I’d fail. So, a few months ago I bought Early to Rise by Andy Traub. And It has this great feature where you can listen to the audio… He will send you an email everyday. The book has a page to read everyday. It is very doable. Andy has done everything he can do help you, short of coming to stay at your house for a month. And so I thought yeah someday, I should do this. We are moving across country a lot is already changing why would I want to do that now?

Then the beginning of June I decided I was going to do it. I am a woman.. Sometimes we just change our minds I have heard. I haven’t set an alarm since 1995 and yet here I was setting an alarm. I decided I would go to bed at 11PM and wake up at 5AM. The book is much gentler he suggests just waking up an hour earlier than your normal time. I am an all or nothing girl so just took the plunge. So I went to bed at 2.. Got up at 5.. And I was ready to go to bed at 11PM.

Here is the amazing part I am on day 29 of this 30 day challenge. My phone wasn’t charged last night so I had no alarm but I was up at 5AM. Yes, it helped that I was already trained to sleep 6 hours. And it helped that I don’t usually use an alarm but it was still amazing. I am an Early Riser!

The Bible is the book that has changed my life the most. I have read books that gave me a new idea or changed my lifestyle. This book changed my sleeping habits and how I use my time. Bible Study, reading and writing so far is what my morning looks like. I hope to add exercise. My children are up by 7 most days, and in bed by 9. Our home has changed in many ways because I am up at 5.

I bought the softcover book using my Amazon Prime account and the kindle version came free with the KindleMatch program. I also bought the Early to Rise for Moms but I haven’t enjoyed it as much.. I think because it has many different authors.. It does contain more than 30 days ~ and is written by moms who took the challenge. So it is a worthy companion book. Andy Traub’s Early to Rise is life changing~ he will teach you to ship, introduce you to Fred and encourage you to live a better than average life. We all want a few more hours in our day ~ and here they are ~ just wake up and use them wisely.

Child Centered or Christ Centered the Choice is Yours

     “My children are the most important thing to me.” People say this everywhere, all the time. And it makes me want to scream. Children are blessings.. They are not things. The relationship with our children, the success of our children, our children’s salvation, the character of our children these are all important things to me.

Children have folly in their hearts. The are the best kind of fools. The are growing and seeking and learning… they will outgrow their foolishness. If we lead them, parent them, mentor them, pray for them, teach them, guide them, instill good habits and live with wisdom before them. All to often I see families where the children lead the home. They decide the schedule, they decide the diet of the home, they decide the shopping habits, they control the relationships, especially the marital relationship, they are tyrants. This is America we do not like tyrants as leaders… or so we claim.

 

Yet, I see it all the time out in public. The smallest member of the family, who is often the loudest, making decisions for the whole family. “I want this!” and “this” is purchased. And there is no thought of if it was a wise purchase.. It just makes the awful sound from the tyrant stop. “Can’t we go to McDonalds?” “I want this chocolate cereal with marshmallows and chemicals and lots of sugar THIS ONE with the picture of my favorite character from the magic box in the living room” These foolish little creatures don’t know what is healthy, they are being convinced by marketers that they NEED those foods and they get YOUR hard earned MONEY by using these little tyrants.

 

They need to be involved in activities. So we drive them, pay for lessons, buy the needed supplies, buy pictures and gifts and tickets for recitals and championships etc. They need quality time so we make time for them in our routines. The have to get their homework done so we spend our evening family time doing homework with them. They need a good breakfast and sleep so we let them sleep in as long as they can and then shove a pop tart in their hand. They must socialize so they are driven to friends houses for sleepovers on the weekend. We spend our time making the tyrants happy. We fulfill their needs. We don’t consider what they really need. Family time, skills for living, responsibilities, fellowship, practice of skills they have chosen to develop, time to be creative, time outside in nature, time to play and grow, time to read and write. We entertain them, push them, remind them again and again, do things for them they should do for themselves and then question why they are lazy, not grateful and have high expectations of their needs being met.

 

The nucleus of a cell determines if the cell will be healthy or not. A Christ centered home will produce the healthiest family unit. Christ is not a tyrant. Christ served and sacrificed, taught wisdom and lived His life to obey His Heavenly Father. If we want healthy families… we need to check our nucleus. Is it a tyranical fool or a loving Savior. Is our nucleus leading to proper functions or slowly killing itself? The nucleus determines the health of the whole cell. Is your family healthy or a place of stress, power struggles, confusion and pain?

 

Looking at what is at the center of your home is the key to change. Who is controlling the time, the money, the atmosphere? Whose needs are being met ~ are they real needs or simply wants? Parenting requires maturity. It requires choosing what is best. Children are blessings if we train them, when we teach them, when we keep them in the proper place within the home. Children will cause the most amount of stress when they are the center of the home. When you see a stressed mother. You will know she serves a tyrant. When you see a blessed mother you will know she is serving a benevolent ruler.

 

Society will tell you parenting is hard, children are difficult, we are supposed to be stressed ~ we are parents. I don’t see that in the Bible. I see children are blessings, teach them, remember God with them, show them wisdom, disciple them, be blessed through them in your old age. Stressful children does not seem like a biblical idea to me. We have accepted a worldview that is not based on the Bible when we expect stress from our children.

 

So what about my home? What do I do when things are stressful in my home. I know that sometimes life’s situations are stressful. When things continue to be stressful I look for the foolishness I have let slide, usually to please a little tyrant. Yes it happens in my home. I decide not to get up and handle a situation, not to give a consequence and slowly the cell is taken over. Place Christ at the center of your home. There is immediate clarity in what is acceptable. There is a wonderful book for children called if Jesus Came to My House.. What if Jesus came to your house? Would He be comfortable there? Would He see a healthy family? Would He recognize His teachings in the family government? Would your children serve Him or expect Him to serve them?

My Marriage Comes First and Yours Should Too!

If you are married, your marriage must be the most important relationship in the home. BUT I have Children. But one of my children is special needs. But my children are children and my husband is an adult they need me more. I am sure you can come up with more Buts… because we don’t like that sentence. Your MARRIAGE is the MOST Important relationship in the home.

Your children need security. Their number once source of security is a strong relationship between their parents. It is one of the reasons that being married before you have children is a part of God’s plans. There is a primary relationship that nurtures the children.

Certainly you must take care of your children’s physical needs and nurture relationships with them. But more important is that you nurture your marriage. That your husband and you have good communication, that there is a strong bond that continues to be strengthened and that there is no doubt of the permanence of your wedding vows.

Children who know they are in a family where there is little to no chance of divorce will have less stress, better examples of what marriage and good communication look like, a better sense of their place in the family, will be less self-centered and have more confidence.

Husbands who know their wives put their relationship first will feel more respected and loved. A child centered home strains a marriage relationship in so many ways. A man who knows he is still special and has not been replaced will be a better husband and father. He will be more confident in his role within the home.

I know it is easy to get swept up in the children’s first model we often see in society. We often hear “My children come first!” God didn’t make children first. He made a man first and gave him a wife. Then He blessed them with children.

Holy New Year Blessings to YOU!

     Happy New Year!!!  In my home we stayed up and celebrated and shouted those words.  This morning as I woke up and I considered my family, our home, our year and stared at a brand new notebook with intentions of planning.  I suddenly realized it was not happiness I seek.  I am happy.  It is holiness I yearn for.

     Holiness I want for my home, my church, my nation.  To be set apart ~ to be used in God's Kingdom for His purpose.  There are so many issues everywhere - economic - social - cultural etc..  I believe the answer is Christ.  We are not going to have a perfect world here ever..  we can seek justice and peace.  We can seek joy and hope.  We can experience them sometimes - even in the fallen world.  And even the heathen wants more... but can we accept that they can only be found in Him. 

    Yes dear Christian - can we say that only in Christ will we find hope, joy, peace, love... We are settling for what the world offers.  Happiness... success.. material goods... physical comfort etc... in our homes, in our churches, in our daily practices.  So today I ask is happy enough - 365 days of being happy... is that our highest calling?

     I think God has called us to more - to Holiness.  But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people belonging to God, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light. I Peter 2:9  Let's declare His praises ~ Let's walk in the light ~ Let's behave as wives and mothers and daughter and friends who belong to God. 

    Maybe we will change our Happy New Year! shout to Holy New Year next Dec 31.  Till then I am praying and intending to purposefully attempt to live a Holy New Year.

    Holy New Year Blessings From the Martin Family Home to your home~

Never Weres, Has Beens, Wanna Bes

There are people ~ all different kinds

Joining groups with all like minds

There are blessings You wish to impart

But some never let you in their heart

 

Others start on the journey with You

But before you know it they are through

The world entices them away

In the church they do not stay

 

Christians on fire for the Lord

Staying daily in Your Word

Praying constantly Love they show

Living that the world may know

 

What kind of Christian of these three

Will I be known as in eternity

May You keep me close to You

Away from the world in all I do

 

Faithful ~ Sure ~ Strong and Always True

Your love for me and mine for You

 

Inspired by Rev. Jim King's sermon titles Three Kinds of Christians

The Beginning of my Homemaking Journey

     I was newly married.  We were renting a winter rental.  We didn't own much - the house came fully furnished  - I mean fully - plates, pots, forks etc.  We had some clothes and a few other things.  I worked full time, we cared for 3 children on the weekend and had youth group, missionaries, friends etc in and out on the weekends.  I cleaned - prepared - planned and handled it all.  This book was the basis.  Helped me to see my work at home as important. ~ how to serve others, how to prepare and be ready.

    This book is what helped me to organize our stuff... as we began to accumulate.  The book has been republished but this is the cover when I first read it.  I still organize our stuff with office boxes and index cards.  This book encouraged me to grow and learn - that home was important and manageable. 

     This book was the next level from me - I moved from a notebook with tabs to index cards.  This book has also been updated with a new cover.. but when I read it WAY back then... it looked like this.  The Sidetracked Sisters helped me to grow into routines as we moved to our own apartment and added our first child and my mother to our home.  This book is the basis of Flylady and still a wonderfully helpful read.. Yes I still own the copy that looks like this.

     I was blessed to have many women in my life who have influenced me.  Yet I felt on my own when trying to set up my own home - to do things MY way.  These books are dear friends that I am thrilled to introduce to you... Friends that encouraged me ~ May they encourage you should you choose to get to know them better,

My little one is crawling - pulling up on objects - getting around - grabbing everything. She is a sweet gentle child. Today she reached for several things that I had to take away from her before she put them in her mouth. A problem that I don't remember having before. Each time I took the item and said thank you and then put her hand down.
Along with attempting chokable cuisine, my little darling manages to land on her face or look up and fall backwards etc while exploring her world. We try to catch her and more often than not one of us gets there before she manages to cause herself pain. However sometimes... imapact occurs... we have learned to say "YAY YAY she's OKAY!" If all of us who are around her clap for her we can normally distract her before her little pucker face turns into tears.
Why am I telling you about my day? It occured to me that these may be the reason my little dears rarely cry. It never becomes their habit. On her own she would cry when something is taken from her that she wants or when she feels pain. But even now we are attempting to keep her quiet and pleasant even when she doesn't get her way or feels discomfort.

10 Secrets About My Marriage

1. I can change my husband

~ through prayer ~ praying daily for God’s will in his life - guarding him in prayers of protection - praying with him has often given him insights into my heart and mind

2.Three people in our marriage is a must

~ there have been times Jason and I have tried to settle issues or make decisions on our own and just messed it up.. We must keep Jesus in our marriage

3. 50% isn’t enough

~ 110% is required - We do best when we try to outserve each other

4. Jason is more important than my children

~ Making sure our house isn’t child centered even though there are more children than adults   ~ making sure my children know that their father is at the top of the list ~ remembering that Jason and I were a family before we had 6 children and will be a family when all 6 have moved on

5. No saying No

~ saying No as little as possible is one of our parenting rules - It is true in our relationship too - saying lets try your idea or how can I help/support your thought/idea/decision even if I can think of lots of reasons to say No

6. Have a back-up plan

~~ Yep we made a back-up plan of what to do in case we were afflicted with addiction or other personal issues that may threaten our family - we also never say divorce etc Quitting isn’t an option - the plan is there to ensure we can weather any storm and cme back together stronger than ever

7. Jason is in charge

- Yep our country has a president - a company a CEO and our family has a leader too.. Yep I counsel - suggest - give opinions etc but I don’t have the final say

8. I don’t tell Jason everything

- Nope I don’t have huge secrets and often tell people who ask me to keep a secret that I may have to share it with Jason… but in general Jason doesn’t want to hear all the things people tell me, all my thoughts- so I don’t tell him everything

9. We both love God more than we love each other

  We have learned over the years that is we love God and keep growing to be more like Christ that we grow closer to each other - when that balance is upset we quickly begin to grow apart

10. Some days we don’t like each other

~ One morning I said to Jason “At least you are good to look at”  Yep he still reminds me of that - We always love each other but some days the fact that we are opposites in so many ways really shines through… It is ok we aren’t mean etc and have learned that like most things it passes…

A New Blessing

A New Blessing!! Our newest daughter was born on January 13th. A precious soul entrusted to my husband and me by our Heavenly Father. How could I be so blessed? Delivering our 5th child?! Years ago it seemed as if that could never happen.

We married in the summer of 1995. We agreed that children were a blessing and decided that God was in control of how many children we may or may not have. Friends "warned" us we would have 20 kids... then what would we do? We were told by many how expensive milk and diapers were etc. We replied that God was in control and waited for the children and expenses....

God worked a miracle and we were given custody of a child not biologically related to either of us near the end of 1997. We loved our first child and waited for the brothers and sisters that we had been "warned" would follow yearly if we didn't "do something." A year later we finally spoke out loud of our concern - maybe we would never have a child that was our biologically. We loved our daughter and decided it didn't matter. She was just as much ours as any child we could biologically create. We would continue to trust God.

By the summer of 2000 we were sure ther wouldn't be 20 little Martins coming.. there wouldn't even be 1. We decided that we would accept that "we" couldn't have children. We would love the child God had given us and be grateful. We didn't want either of us to feel like we had kept the other from having children - no blame - no guilt.

Jason came home one day and calmly told be I had a bald spot. I immediately called a college friend who was a doctor. He diagnosed me with Alopecia and suggested I visited a dermatologist. I held out but when more and more hair fell out I went waiting for the miracle cure. Well there wasn't one.. there was a 50/50 chance and steroid shots in mt scalp that would require me to take birth control. My husband immediately said no birth control... we had agreed ~ my hair... we didn't stand a chance of having a child. Jason stood firm.. so I did what any normal vain woman would do -I shaved off my hair and bought 3 wigs.

Two weeks later I was sick.. I took a pregnancy test after evaluating my "symptoms" I was pregnant. We were going to have our first child - he arrived in Dec of 2001. Here I sit, typing with one hand in the year 2012 holding our 5th biological child. A new blessing - a gift - a reward - a miracle. A precious gift from our Heavenly Father who has blessed us in so many ways - none of which we could ever deserve. Jillian Alexa Martin a heritage from the Lord.

 

A New Year ~ and we are back I think ~ 2012!! I am so excited - I am looking at a blank calendar - Glad to know that Our lives are in His Hands - through the coming year our Heavenly Father has plans for His Dear Martin Children. Just as I plan for our dear children's year. I am praying over empty squares ~ knowing there will be tears and laughter - new babies and different seasons ~ but ever aware that I know who holds our future.

Off Balance

     I am off balance - doing too many things - and spread too thin... Yet I think that for this time period that it is necessary.  A family member is in need so we have opened our home and family to do what we can.  I am not getting it all done  - not even 50 percent and yet we are managing.

     Why blog about this?  Well I think it must happen to many women for different reasons and that maybe there are times we are going to be out of balance and its ok.  Now when is it ok?  When we are doing what God has called us to do and when we are sure the things that are tipping the scales are beneficial.

     Homeschooling - Breastfeeding - Shiftwork - Child we raised wth Reactive Attachment Disorder - Sickness - Illness in the family -  Family member in need - Time for extra work - Church or Mission Projects  - Pregnancy - Major Project - Moving - Death in the Family - Car Accident - SOOOOOO Many things life throws our way - so Off Balance will happen.  Makes me loud and clumpy like my washing machine when it is off balance.  Working and trying but not as effective or quiet as when I am centered.

  How do we get through when we are off balance?  Stay internally centered with prayer and Bible Study.  Stay accountable to a few close friends - make sure there is someone to help you emotionally and mentally.  Decide what you can cut out - let the less important items fall through the cracks.  Take vitamins and eat healthy.  Guard time with family - make sure you keep your family near.  Time it - relook at the situation at least monthly - is there some changes to make that will bring you back to balance?  What is the next step? 

    A friend told me today to give myself some slack.   I am not good at giving myself some slack... but I am good at asking God for mercy. 

Deut. 4:31

“For The Lord thy God is a merciful God, He will not forsake you, neither destroy thee.....

Cleaning with children

How do you keep your children's rooms clean? For me the answer is cleaning with them. We allow clothes - beds - books - quit time activities in the bedrooms. I clean daily with the children in their bedrooms till they are 13 - then they are responsible and paid for doing so themselves. Years of training and money pays off... no yelling - reminding etc.

Child Training - before One? Yep - Definitely - My swwet Julianna finally crossed the barrier - I knew it was coming and maybe even lied to myself a few times saying she wasn't quite ready... then it happened to the stairs - a look back and a laugh..... So training has begun. One finger touch for shopping and exploring. She seems to be getting it. A stern No mommy says No Julianna that may be followed by a light flck on the hand has already led her to listen to no and pull her hand back.
Child Training is work and I know it is hard to look at our dear baby and see that first glimpse of sin nature - so No - Nice - Hands Down - One Finger Touch - Come and stop will be lessons over the next few weeks.
As she walks across the kitchen floor - stands on tippy toes to reach stuff on the table - climbs on anything etc I am aware that it is necessary for her safety. Over the next few months she will be held on my lap less hours - require less carrying around and play and bond with her siblings more. Babyhood is quickly passing and a toddler will soon arrive.

Kitchen work - Isn't there always work in the kitchen? here are some things we do to help keep kitchen manageable - we have a Jr. Chef - Jr. Hostess And Jr. Janitor - they rotate weekly. It is a great way to trai them - Yes it does take time and effort and energy but you will see the pay-off I promise. My goal is to put them each in charge of a meal weekly as they get older so this training time will come back to me.
Shopping monthly, keeping an inventory list - menus and large batches of food prep help too. I order from Sam's club through click N' pull and they shop for me for free... I just pick up the four carts of groceries. I know that may sound impossible but start slow if you shop every 7 days now aim for every 10 then every 14 - it saves in time and money.
We keep inventory of what we use and what we have to the best of our ability so we know what we need. Menus are a huge help in this area. Browning 12 pound of ground beef and bagging in 1-2 pound bags or slicing chicken cutlets and freezing in marinade all save time and make a quick dinner easy to make. Flash freeze onions and peppers so they are ready to be used and don't go bad. There are a lot of prep things you can do even if once a month cooking seems like too much. And don't forget the double batch - make an extra it is a HUGE help.
Cleaning up agter every meal - sweeping floors after every meal sure does help when I stick to it. I would love to start and keep a price book. The kitchen is a busy room that often is a gathering place - feeding our family in more ways than just physically. It is definitely an area that requires attention - keeping it under control allows me to give my attention to other areas of life.

Who's voice are you listening for?
A few weeks ago before Jacqueline went to bed she said, "Mom please wake me up before the soccer game in the morning." I told her I would call her but if she didn't wake up I was going to let her sleep.
The next morning Jason offered to take Joshua to the game so I took him up on his offer. Before he left I asked if he had called Jacqueline - he said he had but she didn't move. As he opened the door to walk out we heard "Hey MOM you didn't wake me up!" I said daddy tried to. Jacqueline said, "Mom I was listening for your voice." She was dressed in a flash and out the door.
It made me think of us being like sheep - we should only hear our shepherd's voice. Who's voice are you listening for?

Have an Adventure

I love children's books - I know I am an adult.

Books Fall Open

by David McCord

Books fall open, you fall in
Delighted where you’ve never been
Hear voices not once heard before
Reach world on world through door on door
Find unexpected keys to things
Locked up beyond imaginings
What might you be, perhaps become
Because one book is somewhere?
Some wise delver into wisdom, wit and wherewithal has written it
True books will venture, dare you out
Whisper secrets, maybe shout
Across the gloom to you in need
Who hanker for a book to read.

   I sit and read to my children easily an hour a day - sometimes 2-4 hours a day.  We are currently sharing the adventures of Betsy And Tacy.  Boxcar children book two is ready to be opened we just finished the first book and though we so the ending coming were glad when it happened.

    Not sure where to begin your adventure?  Start with what you enjoyed as a child - Little House on the Prairie, Heidi, Little Women were some of my favorites.  While reading to my children I have discovered new favorites The Twenty-one Balloons, The Education of Little Tree, Ginger Pye and others have fascinated  us.

   If you don't feel comfortable reading out loud, can't for long periods of time without losing your voice or spend a lot of time in your car or quietly in a room working on projects as a family don't overlook audio books.  We listened to The Courage of Sarah Noble on two car trips recently and my children have been heard telling themselves to keep up their courage.  I love when they are inspired by books.  Jonathan Park has been a new discovery for us - lots of information to learn but entertained the whole time. 

Read - Let your children see you.  Read to them.  Compose stories about your family and read about them.  Find books that give your more ideas of what to read - Honey For A Child's Hear - Books Children Love are on my shelves.  I often see what homeshool catalogs or what specific curriculums recommend FIAR, Sonlight, Ableside.  Take your children to the library - head to a local bookstore for storytime - host a story/craft time in your home. 

Looking at a book often makes me think of Winnie the Pooh's quote

When I first saw you, I knew an adventure was going to happen!

15 years and Counting

We celebrated our fifteenth year wedding anniversary this week.  Fifteen years - imagine me married 15 years.  Seems nearly unbelievable to me.  We started out sure that we weren't going to allow anything to tear us apart  - but with a plan for in case something went wrong.  We knew statistically we were not going to make it. 

But we had something that we trusted more than anything - Jesus.  We trusted that he'd hold our union together.  We knew we couldn't do it in our own strength.  We can be selfish, rude, demanding and worse on our own.  We can be loving, self-sacrificing and completely willing to serve each other and Christ at our best.

What makes the difference?  $000000000.00 in our God accounts - when we know it isn't about what we do - but about what Christ does through us.  200% - when we are willing to give 200% when the other is on empty.  Working to outserve each other - willingness to obey God and trust that His way is the best way.

We are first generation Christians and we are blazing a trail.  Divorce is not an option.  "Together Forever" I jokingly chant over Jason on nights when he may be unappreciative of my presence.  It is my way of reminding him we are in this marriage no matter what.  It isn't about how we feel.  Thankfully we both love each other, our God, our Family and our life.  It has been 15 years and I am amazed that I have been so blessed.  By God's grace we will be counting for a long time - Together Forever.....

My 38th Year

It's my birthday - I turn 38 years old today.  I love my birthday.  A day to celebrate my life - the miracle of my life - that I'd ever have been created.  Then to be born though my father attempted to kick my mother's stomach so that I wouldn't be.  Then left with a woman that abused me while my mother attempted to find a way to take care of me.  Years of poverty, living in a home with alcoholic parents, neglect, abuse and finally a foster home. 

Today I am 38 and those things seem so far behind.  Now I have 4 children of my own.  I hold a precious 9 month old and consider what I might have been like at that age.  What might have made the rest of my life different at 9 months,  What if someone had led Roger Ericson to Christ and he had gathered his family together and lead a Christian Home?

So many families helped to raise me - so many provisions made by God through them.  So many friends who listened, encouraged and loved me when I was unlovable.  A past I often choose to not reflect on - I have sometimes wished I could erase and sometimes wished I could share.  All leading me to my now.

A husband who loves me - four beautiful blessings - a house with plenty of projects  - a church full of fellow believers in Christ - friends who love me for who I am - neighbors who are friendly - a town with a small hometown feel - a Country with freedom and hope.  Thirty-Eight today and looking back - inspecting my now.  A Christian wife, mother, soccer mom, Baptist, American, church member, sister, daughter, daughter-in- law, sister-in-law, aunt, friend, neighbor, Republican, homeschooler all the boxes I am supposed to fit in... and still I feel like me.

I have to look ahead - year 38 - a miracle still to me.  I am alive - I shouldn't be.  I am me and glad to be.  Proberbs 3:5-6 is my life verse.  This my 38th year I hold even dearer the words I know so well - Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.  In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.  I can't wait to see where God leads me as I stay on His path.

Masterly Inactivity (free e-book) - Simply Charlotte Mason

Masterly Inactivity (free e-book) - Simply Charlotte Mason.

Masterly Inactivity (free e-book) - Simply Charlotte Mason

  Here is another Free Parenting/Homeschool resource - Enjoy!

Free Homeschool curriculum

Hi ~ Evangelism and Missions is a central theme in our home. I came across this today and thought I'd share.

http://harvestministry.org/twghw

May it be a blessing to your Homeschool and family as you work in building God's kingdom.

Undeserved Salvation

In the beginning it was You

Yet I forget all that You do

Creating ~ Sustaining  the people you made

You loved me before the foundation was laid

I trust Your provision of money and such

To know I am saved can I say as much

Experiences, thoughts race in my head

Do I know I will see you when I am dead?

The conviction to say I know that I klnow

To rely on Your grace as I live and grow

Your provisions on earth I get to enjoy

While you make mansions in heaven till I deploy

Thank you Lord for all You provide

Even in my sin I don't have to hide

Forever with you I can joyously live

For me, even Your Son You willingly give

   Inspired by a sermon given by Pastor Mark Davis at West Monmouth Baptist

Heart Check-up

I have heard many women complain about cooking - cleaning - husbands who don't appreciate - no one helping in their homes - too much work - not enough time OK I have been one of those women.  I love books by Don Aslett, Emilie Barnes etc - You know the ones how to organize - use time better - clean faster.  They Motivate me... hmmm motivate  Well a quick search says motivate isn't in the Bible Or in Webster's 1812 dictionary ot Webster's 1913 dictionary.

Will - Deciding in our hearts - Inspired by God - ahhh those are words the Bible uses.  Have I once again settled for worldly cheap imitations?

Webster's 1812

1. To determine; to decide in the mind that something shall be done or forborne; implying power to carry the purpose into effect

   Power to carry the purpose - Purpose there is a word that is in the Bible - Here is Webster's 1812 difinition

 That which a person sets before himself as an object to be reached or accomplished; the end or aim to which the view is directed in any plan, measure or exertion. We believe the Supreme Being created intelligent beings for some benevolent and glorious purpose, and if so, how glorious and benevolent must be his purpose in the plan of redemption! The ambition of men is generally directed to one of two purposes, or to both; the acquisition of wealth or of power.

   The Bible says Every purpose is established by counsel - so let's consider my reading as seeking counselors.  I am on the right track - What derails me is that it merely motivates - I set a goal (sometimes unattainable) and come up empty.  I might even meet the goal and come out on the other side PROUD of MYSELF and then ready for the next goal (almost like an addict),

   What is God asking me for - my mind?  No~  My heart!  - Why cook, clean, teach?  Because of Love - I love my husband and children.  I love the Lord - Because I am blessed to have my dear family.  Ladies it is tough to look in my heart and see selfishness, laziness, whining etc.  I purpose to ask God for Power to be able to do His will.  I know He can change my heart.

Rest isn't laziness

In case you are thinking What I need is to get something done - Not SLEEP...

 

Psalm 4:8
I will both lay me down in peace, and sleep: for thou, LORD, only makest me dwell in safety.

Psalm 127:2
It is vain for you to rise up early, to sit up late, to eat the bread of sorrows: for so he giveth his beloved sleep

 

Proverbs 3:24
When thou liest down, thou shalt not be afraid: yea, thou shalt lie down, and thy sleep shall be sweet.

 

    Peace - Gives His beloved sleep - sleep shall be sweet... Is your sleep sweet?  Peaceful?

If it isn't ... WHY?  Are you listening for strange sounds?  Are you worried about bills?  Concerned abour your children?  Tossing - Turning?

You need sleep...  Your body needs rest.  Work hard during the day... set goals and take steps to reach them.  You know when you are truly being Lazy and when you really need rest.  Rest at night - take a quick nap during the day if you need.  Be willing to work during the day - be willing to rest at night. 

 

 

80/20 Decluttering and Cleaning

Friday is cleaning day at our house.  I should lock us in the house every Friday.... but well this morning we were off to a huge rummage sale.  I purchased some items to resell on the internet and ok a few things for us... the globe puzzle is for geography (that's what I told myself as I wondered if we could even put it together.)

Home, baby care, eating.. and oh yeah Cleaning day.  So I started to clean.  Put away some clothes - decided I could give away some items yay - decluttering!  Then I decided to clean out a box - it ended up being a box of things that had been in my van before I hit a deer weeks ago.  Guess what I found?  My husband's wallet!  He has been looking for that.  I threw out trash (why did we box that anyway?)  Pulled out a receipt for a gift I was going to give but need to return instead - hope I can find it at the same time as the item.  Some baby toys were put in Julianna's toy basket.  Then the 80/20 principle occured to me. 

If we only use 20 percent of our items 80 percent of the time then there is most like 80 percent of our items we could do away with.  Meaning that I should be able to go through any box (yep lots of boxes) and easily get rid of a mere 20 percent of its contents.  So I went to get a box.  I pulled out the items in it - two unread children's magazines (guess we don't need to renew that one) a magnetc doll kit (dented  maybe we can get rid of that too and 23 books.  So I only need to get rid of 5 items - that would be easy.  I pulled 2 books quickly we could get rid of (Little Runner of the Longhouse and Young Children's Mix and Fix cookbook in case you were wondering.)  The Giving Tree a KEEPER - then I pulled 7 more books that could go.

I am a bookseller so I looked up the books before putting them on the front porch to be donated.  3 had members wanting them on paperbackswap and 4 were worth listing on Amazon,  So I would get paid for cleaning and decluttering Woo Hoo!  And I didn't manage to get rid of 80 percent of the items but I did manage to get rid of more than the 20 percent I was aiming for...  Maybe doing that for every box will really help me to declutter more aggressively.

How to use paperbackswap

Here is the best way I have found to use paperbackswap.  I go through catalogs or websites that have books or suggestions I like and then put those books on my wishlist - I think they allow up to 200 items on your wishlist.  If the book is entered into the system they will offer it to you first.  If there is a book that you are sure you want you can put it on auto request and when it is entered they system will accept it for you.

If you don't want to package and mail books you can just buy book credits.  I don't mind shipping books out especailly when I know when I want a book it will come to me for Free.  I do try to keep 10 credits or so available.  So if a book from my wish list is posted I have credits available.

Another good way to use the system is to buddy friends on Paperbackswap - you can see each other's lists and even share credits!  I have been able to get copies of books I like to give away - Me? Obey Him - or get bbooks for our homeschool.  I do sometimes splurge and get books for Me with no Guilt. 

The system is easy to use and a great way to save money.  Don't forget to Buddy me if you join!

Paperbackswap info- you may want to consider joining

'Here is a great way to trade, recycle, declutter books from your home. I love this site!'

Do you have any used books lying around? Ones you've already enjoyed, but you're never going to read again? I did, and I finally found a great way to share them with other people!

It seems that a few guys were sitting around one night talking about all the paperback books that they purchased over the years while traveling on business. Each of them had a large stack of books that they had read, so they decided to set up a website at http://www.PaperBackSwap.com/ that allows all of us to swap books with each other.

Let me tell you how it works -- because it is so easy! I listed a bunch of books on the site (listing 10 books gets the first member in your household free credits!) and I got 2 free book credits to get started. So you can order 2 books right away - free of charge -- and have them mailed directly to you! No strings attached. No gimmicks. No spam mail. Nothing. You just have to love reading books.

When another member selects one of my books that I have listed, I mail it to them. Yes, I pay for the postage. But then I get another book credit and I can select a book that I want. So another club member returns the favor and mails me one of his or her books free of charge. For every book I mail out, I get another book in return - a true shared system!

And when someone requests one of your books, all you have to do is print two pieces of regular paper from your printer which includes the mailing address and the recommended postage. Apply the postage, and drop it in the mail. Hey, for a typical paperback, you don't even need to go to the post office.

Right now the annual club membership is free. Eventually the founders will ask everyone to help contribute to pay for the upkeep of the web site, but for now the annual club membership is free. The annual dues will probably be between $10 and $20 based on the number of people in the club. But again, right now you don't even have to pay any dues for at least one year if you become a Member.

You really need to check this out. And if you do sign up, please use the following link:

http://www.paperbackswap.com/index.php?r_by=love2beHis%40yahoo.com

If you use the link above to join, I'll get a free credit when you post your first ten books (and you'll still get free credits for posting them!)

For more information about the site, you can visit the Help area, by clicking the link below, and select 'About PBS' to read how it works:

http://www.paperbackswap.com/help/help_index.php

Best Regards,
Janet Martin 

Celebrating Birthdays

I love birthdays - celebrating life - Life Lived and Future hope of a new year.  In my home your birthday is YOUR day  - we will do whatever you want within reason.  Dinner out or making your favorite dinner in.  Make your cake or buy a special order Carvel with extra crunchies.  Play at the park or take you to see a play.  Normally it turns into a marathon day - Donuts - park - McDonald's Play place - Miniature Golf - Chuck E Cheese - Home for Gifts and cake.  I write a letter to each child on their birthday that I hope to give them when they turn 18 or get married.. we will see what feels right.  Friends are invited to our marathon birthday days or a backyard play day/barbecue.  I want my children to know they are blessings, we celebrate the blessing their life is.

Office Day

Wednesday at our home is office day - I have a small office off of my tv room so that I can watch the children and see what they are watching when the tv is on.  I am not a big tv watcher so it allows me to get work done(I sell books online) or get some bills paid etc while still being able to talk to my family etc.

Cleaning my desk is the first task - and here it seems a never ending one.  Personal, business, homeschool, and family papers seem to pile here.  Three ring notebooks for Time (calendar, flyers of commitments etc), Money (bills, debt repayment plan etc) Family Notebook (addresses, birthdays etc) , Homeschool (plans, subjects for students etc) all help me to clear the desk.

Checking on bank account balances seems to give me a clear overview of where we are so I normally start there.  Food shopping, menus, inventory lists, grocery list normally are next - You Gotta Eat! (Checkers motto that makes me laugh)  Looking at what we may need and making my errand list for Thursday is next.  Then back to finances - paying any bills, checking on debt repayment.  Business check is next - Avon order in?  Any books that need to be mailed?  Family things are next - calendar filled out, birthdays, special occassions etc.  A list of contacts I need to make - phone, email, Im, letter may all be acceptable ways these days - and it may take me a week to get through this list (I am terrible at using the phone). 

Managing our home is work - and no manager would dare try to manage anything without a clear system.  My notebooks are my system.  Checking them at least weekly helps me to be able to trust that all is running smoothly.  My desk is an area I am still working on - but my goal is to clear it everyday (maybe before I go to bed).  I pay bills usually once a month - but while we are in debt repayment phase I am trying to get any extra payments in that we can afford.  If you don't have a desk - get some area that is yours - if you don't like notebooks get a file cabinet and files.  Don't try to run your home without some sort of command center.  Plan time to take care of paperwork, lists, inventory schedules, bills - it will be time well spent.

Kitchen Day

We have a kitchen day on Tuesdays in or home.  A day to really deep clean the kitchen - inside fridge, microwave, etc.  A weekly call for all hands on deck to clear all the counters - check food inventory - cut up and flash freeze some onions - make a meal or two ahead - make sure all things are on track.  I make 3 meals and 3 snacks a day for 6 people - that is 36 feedings a day.  I need the kitchen to be ready. 

Time is saved by kitchen prep and clutter being cleared.  Food inventory helps keep last minute trips to the store to a minimum.  Money is saved as we are able to use up last bits of things or freeze them.  Good health of having a clean kitchen saves us time, money and suffering. 

The kitchen is the heart of our home hours are spent there - guests tend to gather there - homeschooling drifts to the kitchen table and of course family meals happen throughout the day there.  Heart attacks are the number #1 killer in our country.  We know many things we should do to keep our hearts in good condition.  I wonder if the same is true for the high divorce rates in our society  - are the kitchens in those afflicted homes serving nourishment of body and soul.  Candlelight family dinners - wholesome daily sharing - praying - fellowhip with friends - homemade food - signs of a healthy heart of your home.

Yes it is just a Kitchen day - but it could be so much more.  It could be the place where a family is saved from destruction.  Where the unsaved could gather for food and truth.  Where the saved can fellowhship.  Where meals can be prepared for a neighbor who is sick or a friend who has just had a child.  When we work as unto the Lord there is no limit to what God can do to make even the smallest task a way to bring glory to Him.  May we work in our homes to increase His kingdom.   

Almost time~

It is almost time to start training our wee one - we have been saying no for the last few weeks - human nature I suppose.  We aren't expecting her to obey but we can see she is familiar with the word and knows we will be moving her or taking something away from her when we say it. 

Why this post? We practice attachment parenting rather strongly with our new blessings - breastfeeding on demand, baby wearing, co-sleeper etc.  However, somewhere in the 9-11 month range we begin early child training.  We train child to stay on a blanket, touch with one finger, respond quickly to the words come and no. 

I have held them all for months as they wished to be held.  Somewhere around the age of one that will change too.  We will no longer pick up a crying baby.  Learning to ask for up and wait for our response will be necessary.  We will begin calling the around one year old child and interrupting their play to hold them to train them to accept being held at times they may not want to be.  Our goal again is to have our toddler to ask to be put down but to accept our response without crying or whining.

I am listening to the deep breathing of Julianna in my ear as I type with one hand with her sleeping on my shoulder.  She has been largely in charge of her schedule - who holds her - how long etc - controlling us with cries or sounds of disatisfaction.  My sleeping peaceful child is a blessing,  I know that it is almost time.  In order to bring her to a place where she can willingly submit to God she must first learn to submit her will to her parents.  The work of child training must begin soon - for now I will hold her and pray for her precious soul and life - while my heart treasures the last days of babyhood. 

Laundry Day

Mondays are laundry day in my home.  Before breakfast is served your sheets and dirty clothes must be brought down.  Laundry being done on Mondays has allowed us to make sure no stains get set in our Sunday church clothes.  Our clothes for the week can be put aside - gymnastic's leotard in gymnastics bag, soccer uniforms in soccer bag, swim suit in YMCA bag, etc.  Putting clothes away means everyone is ready for their week.  Yes it does mean 6-10 loads in one day - we stay home on Mondays and prep for the rest of the week.  School at the table allows me to hear when machines are ready to be switched.  We can fold and put away clothes in between subjects.  Working together makes it a much easier job and at the end of the day I know I don't have to be concerned about laundry for another week.

~Library~

The Free Public Library is an awesome place to help with your personal growth - entertainment - education of your children  - family activities - socialization etc.  The problem I often hear is that the library gets expensive.  Fines scare many people away - lost books - late returns etc.

http://www.libraryelf.com/ can help with that - they can email you when your books are due - when a book on hold is ready etc.  Don't skip the library - it is a great way to save space (you don't have to buy and keep books that you can check out) and a great way to save money.  Be sure to check for online catalog - the ability to put items on hold - interlibrary transfers - audiobooks online - all great services that may be beneficial to your family.

Church is a MUST

Lazy Sunday mornings - big breakfast - NY times crossward puzzle - pillow fights with children - a day to catch up and get things done - a great day for shopping - WRONG!  It is the Lord's Day.  Remember the Sabbath day to keep it Holy.  Set Apart for God.  Going to God's house to worship Him - to hear a message from Him - to fellowship with other believers. 

We live in a world of soccer games and sales on Sundays,  I feel the pull.  The copromise with the world.  The "gray" area.  We must be in church.  If your child is in church from birth to age 21 that is 3 years in church - a degree in theology.  I somehow always seem to feel more tired on Sunday - good thing it is a day of rest.  I think Satan is clever and attacks us more on the day that is to be the Lord's.  Family engagements, sickness - invitations to special events seem to be on Sundays and legitimate reasons. 

Yet, getting up sometimes makes me feel better - getting dressed and shoes and makeup on helps.  Sometimes we have attended church near a family members home.  Sometimes attended a church near soccer fields etc.  All clearly saying that getting to church is a priority to our family.  We want our children to have this habit clearly established in their lives.  Christians seem to be leaving the church for their late teen and young adult years.  And many are not coming back.  We must train our children to be in God's house - to worship - to fellowship - to hear the word of the Lord and apply it.  CHURCH is a MUST.

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Season Passess - Reduced Entrance~

In an effort to provide affordable and wholesome entertainment for our family we have tried to have season passes or memberships to theme parks, museums, zoos, aquariums etc.  We usually have season passes to Sesame Place.  For us it is a 45 minute drive - food there is about $5-10 for the day - quick stop at Taco Bell if we need to eat is another $20 if we are careful.  The passes pay for themselves in just a few visits.

Zoo passes and aquarium passes have allowed us time to learn together while spending time enjoying God's creation.  Adding guide books and giving children animals to look for enhanced our experience.  We also buy the upgraded passes when possible so we can bring some friends.  Sharing with friends makes visits even more special.

A good friend bought passes to the zoo and we bought passes to the aquarium and then invited each other so we were able to visit both places.  It may require some saving or setting aside funds.  Having a place you can go when you want and for less money makes it worth it.  Look for season passes - memberships - half price specials - homeschool days etc at places you would like to go.  If your husband works for a company that often donates money don't forget to check for reduced entrance fees based on place of employment.  Group rates are often cheaper too and by combining with just another family or two you may be able to get a minimum of 10 etc making it more affordable for everyone.

It is awesome to get to spend time with your family and to know that you were a wise steward of your resources too.

Plan Your Month

Today is the first of the month.  Take some time to plan.  Get your household notebook or time notebook and schedules - newsletters etc and take an hour to plan.  It may take longer than an hour but usually 1-3 hours pays off hugely in time saved - appointments kept - celebrations remembered etc.

Looking at our month we have two birthdays - a soccer tournament - church activities - Mother's day.  I need gifts for our mothers - a plan for Birthday days - to throw a birthday party  - time for gymnastics and soccer.  I need to plan a menu for bigger breakfasts when dh is on nights and bigger dinners when he is on days.  We have a friend or two we were hoping to spend time with so need to plan a day with them.  We would like to have someone from church over for dinner so need to plan that.  You get the picture.

Planning will pay off in time - money and peace of mind. 

Fun for children - Free or almost Free

This morning I took my children to our local mall for a children's breakfast - there was coloring a mothers day card - coloring the inside paper for a flower pot - and a flower and a gift bag - milk - chocolate milk - orange juice - free carousel rides - musical chairs - and prize drawings (every child wins).  We are a single income famiy with four children and going anywhere is expensive when you multiply entrance fees - food - snacks etc by six, however we have been able to find great free or almost free things to do that are fun and family centered.

Here are a few more ideas of places to check in your area - Home Depot has a child's craft time on the first Saturday of every month - check your local libraries - Michael's are other craft stores - Restaurants for Kid's nights (our Pizza Hut hosts one on Tuesdays - coloring, temporary tattoos, cookies, balloons, face painting) - movies for summer programs - restauranys are theme parks for reading programs - book stores for storytimes and crafts or our Border's has a bingo (prize a $5 Border's gift card) ~ local churches for Awana or Bible clubs - family Bible Study Nights and don't forget your park system.

    Enjoy your children and your community.  Word of caution don't over commit  - Home is the best place to sing, read, do arts and crafts, play games etc.

Sleep So you can get MORE Done!

I want to be organized  - eat healthier - get rid of clutter - spend time with my family ~ you know all the things we women have floating in our heads.  About six years ago I felt like I was caught in a trap - I wanted so much but my reality was something like this - I want to cook but that requires going to the grocery store - well that would require clean clothes for myself and children - well that would mean going to the store to get detergent - and before we go to the store I should eat so I don't spend more money - SEE? crazy trap!

And every thought went that way - just couldn't find the beginning or end of any task and nothing got done.  Couldn't see how to get through - so Nothing got accomplished - leading to more negative feelings and frustration - which was more reasons I couldn't get anything done.  After watching the failures build up I realized I couldn't do it on my own.  Hmm why didn't I realize that sooner. 

On my knees explaining excuses for why I couldn't get housework, shopping, laundry, cooking etc done I clearly heard God say I needed to rest.  I was sure He didn't understand.  I was asking how to get more done - REST?  REST?  Who had time to rest?  I had Stuff that needed to be done and all God could give me was verses about slumber, rest and sleep?

Well it took a bit ~ but eventually I heard Him - I needed to Rest!  So I decided I would sleep at least Six hours a night - Maybe 7.  I announced my new bedtime.  I started sleeping and I was able to think more clearly. 

So Now I will tell you - Yes you NEED to get to A Million things - but don't forget to sleep.  Rest - give your mind and body a chance to energize and repair.  Decide on a bedtime and follow through.  Try to get to bed and wake up at the same time every day.  By getting enough sleep you can get More done.

Welcome

 

Hi! Welcome - here is my blog~ Yep I decided to take the plunge. We'll see what becomes of it. How did I get here? Encouragement of friends and reading The Happiness Project so here I am. I am Janet Ann Martin - My husband is Jason. We have six children Laura, Joshua, Jacqueline, Jonathan, Julianna and Jillian. We are a Southern Baptist, homeschool family that lives in MT. I am always looking for ways to be more obedient to God's word and in that obedience to encourage other women to do the same. I am hopeful that God will use this blog to do just that. Welcome! May this be a journey to better serving our Heavenly Father through the work of homemaking and serving our husbands, families, churches and communities.