Homemaking 4 His Glory

Mothers and Quiet Time

     The loudest sound for a baby it seems is the first bite a mother takes.  You get a meal prepared.. you sit down.. you put the fork to your mouth... and then the baby cries.  I do not know why it is so.. but after many children I can tell you it is so.  The second loudest sound is getting my Bible out.  My physical Bible, my Kindle Bible, an app etc.. taking out any seem to wake the baby or require that some child will need my attention.

     Bible Study in my mind.. is this quiet time.. I get in my chair with my journal, pen, cup of tea and spend time with my Lord.  If of course, I waited for all that to be perfect I would never have quiet time.  So.. what is the answer?  Well what do you do with your physical food.. you eat a bit here an there.. you eat standing up or rocking with a baby on your hip.. you ask your husband to hold the wee one.. you eat something else that is more convenient and able to be carried with you...

     When we are hungry we will eat.  Dear Christian mother.. when you have spiritual hunger.. when you need nourishment because you are tired, feeling alone etc.. you need to eat... We have to perhaps have quiet time in not so quiet surroundings, listen to a devotional on our Echo, leave a Bible at our sink, listen to a podcast, reread a verse we have written on a card and stuck to the wall, read a few verses and write about it later.. etc..  Read scripture while holding a baby, recite scripture while nursing, sing scripture while putting a baby to sleep.. but if you hunger.. Eat.. Taste and See..

     I am often told I have energy.. oh some days I am tired.. those are the days I know I need extra nourishment.  I Need to be filling up on God's word.. to be encouraged, strengthened, blessed, called, aware, fulfilled.. because I am weak and I have work that must be done.  We can not live by bread alone.. we need to Word of God.  It may not look like what we want it to look like.  I don't go to women's Bible study.. I don't want to leave 6 children at home with my husband who has worked for 12 hours.  I don't always have hot tea and sit in my chair.  Often over the last 15 years I have been propped in my bed nursing a baby, writing sloppily over their heads.  Sometimes it is a sermon that I listen to in small segments throughout the day.. or a quick podcast while I make a bed.  Find a way.. find several ways.. read the Bible... fill yourself up.. it will make a huge difference in your home.

Self Government

Self government... I was taught this was the first form of government.... we train our children in that thought... we can control you but prefer not to... our task is to teach you to control yourself and it begins at 6-11 months. We train them to stay on the blanket.. to stop crying.. to sit on our laps without scooching down, to not fuss when we pick them up when they are doing something else.. to touch things with one finger. This is not because we are the best parents ever but because those skills allow the whole family freedom... we can take these little ones anywhere. Teaching self government is a continuous task that at every stage allows for freedom. Our society seems to have lost this concept... and it seems is willing to sacrifice the freedom it offers

 

“Self-government is being able to determine the cause and effect in any given situation, and possessing a knowledge of your own behaviors so that you can control them.” (Parenting --A House United by Nicholeen Peck)

     The most basic skills I teach and model are called “The Four Basic Skills.”  They teach children how to follow instructions, accept no answers and criticism, accept consequences, and disagree appropriately. So in action... my husband and I model the behavior we expect (to the best of our ability) I can't go around getting upset... yelling, slamming doors etc if I don't want my children to. We train children for every task and skill and then give the task or skill to them as their responsibility..... knowing it is still our responsibility to see that the habit of the child completing it is ours... so consequences are set up. Consequences are to be accepted... they are agreed to before there is ever an issue.... If... Then... We have an appeal system in place so there is no need to talk back etc.. a child may disagree appropriately or share additional information they think will influence our decision without having to whine or yell. We are each held to morals, values and beliefs in our home, these are established by the Bible. We all have a choice how we will respond... we all know there are consequences. We want to have a strong relationship with God... we want to build strong family ties so... do we yell.. take a deep breathe and answer calmly.... As long as one can govern themselves.... there is no need for correction or discipline.. I can stay in praise, training, teaching, modeling etc as my purpose. It is easier to train for good character than to punish/encourage change for lack of good character. Trust is the bond... my children trust me to respond calmly and justly in their best interest... to keep the rules and structure in our home so it is a safe place. I trust them to keep the morals, values, principles we have set up.. and we all have more freedom as a result. Issues are handled quickly and we move on. Calm, peace, unity is the result. It starts in our home with the beginning of freedom.. as soon as a baby can choose to move away etc.... we begin to teach boundaries... staying on a blanket... starting with a blanket laid flat and a baby picked up and moved back to its center, then the blanket folded and the process repeated... until the baby can be moved to the park, church, sidelines of a soccer game and will stay on the blanket happily... and it continues with our 14 year old who can be out with friends till 10pm with boundaries in place... we know where you are and who you are with and if you come home late curfew becomes a half hour earlier until you are home on time every time for 6 months. It isn't a fight, discussion etc.. it has already been agreed upon. If a task isn't completed... I don't yell etc... I say how can I help you... did you forget.. were you lazy... do you not know how to do it... and we fix the problem... feed the dog before you come to the table.. if you come to the table and your plate and cup are missing that will be a reminder to you that the dog needs food and water and you can get up feed them and then get your plate and cup and join us for dinner. We want to raise self-disciplined, strong, mature, self governing adults.

Family Government

     We teach self government first and then we teach family government. Our little blessings have folly in their heart and so even while self government is key they will still bicker.. act selfishly.. prefer themselves to others.. and so that is when the next form of government takes over. Family government.. we need a home that has rules.. consequences... rights.. privileges. . leaders... standards.. goals and a vision.. Parents need to provide these things. Food, shelter, clothing, unconditional love, a nice bed and time, materials and supplies for learning are basics. We need to strive beyond that teaching character.. not yelling and punishing but training and consistent with consequences. We need to study our children.. Does your daughter need yarn? Paints? A book on sewing? Does your son need a whittling set and some soap? What are their interests? Stop telling them to get away from the TV and video games and give them something to do.. offer them a walk on Saturday morning with you.. provide a musical instrument etc. Give them security in working to help do projects and cook, etc. We are to mentor these eternal souls... to guide them. In our family by the age of three you are clearly aware of personal property and community property.. we encourage disputes to be settled by the participants before it is brought to us.. our children are fbff first best friends forever.. they know what is expected a schedule is posted.. everyone has a chore chart.. there is a family meeting every morning, there is a planning meeting ever Sunday evening, there is a parent child meeting once a week.. we talk about our standards in our family we don't listen to music with curse words... we don't wear skirts that short.. we don't yell etc.. When we are outside our home and a child falls into a crowd I have said come here you are a Martin.. we don't do that. Does all of this mean no fun? Nope we read at least an hour a day.. we take trips.. we have tea in the afternoon. . We have a candlelight dinner on Sundays.. Movie night.. x-box night.. foosball tournaments.. go out for dinner on Tuesday. . Go out for desserts.. bake.. dance.. sing at the top of our lungs.. listen to audio books in the car.. etc. We can enjoy more things because we have taught self government and have a strong family government.. justice is important, issues are settled quickly and we move on. Your family has a government... how is it being run? The loudest voice.. the most persistent nagger.. a try at temporary set up till anarchy takes over.. Home needs to be safe.. engaging.. comfortable... encouraging.. The government set up in your home allows time to reach beyond settling disputes and struggling with chores.. battling over homework.. fighting for more privileges... If you are caught in those situations.. it is NOT because your children are Burdens.. It is a lack of parents setting up a family government and fulfilling their duties. This is back to self government for parents.. we must continually learn, grow and practice self discipline. This allows our children to do so too. When that is done the children will follow suit. Your home will change.

Practice Makes Perfect

     Practice makes perfect ~ since about 1560 or so this has been an accepted saying.  We also accept it in practice.  When we want our children to do well at sports or dance we tell them they need to practice.  We schedule their practices.  We cancel other things to make time for them to practices.  We even pay for them to practice.  Sometimes, we pay more for them to practice with certain coaches or trainers.  Practice makes perfect.. we do something over and over again so that we become better at it.

     This is one of the reasons we sit with our children in church.  We know that worship is one of the things we will do in heaven for eternity.  We want them to do it well.  To worship in spirit and truth.  We sit near the front of the church so we can pay attention.  We pay attention to the children.  We pay attention to the sermon.  We teach the children to pay attention to the sermon.  No, they do not always sit still and quiet.  They don't always behave the way I want them to behave.  However, we are practicing worship.  We will be perfect at it in heaven.

    On this side of eternity, we want them to learn to be still and know.  We want them to enter His gates with thanksgiving and enter His courts with praise.  We want them to choose the one needful thing and sit at the feet of Jesus.  We want them to pay attention to God's word.  We want them to participate as a member of the body of Christ.  We want to teach them to worship by our example.  Church is a foundation of our family.  We go to church.. every Sunday.  We want our children to know that it is important.  We talk about the sermon.  We want them to process and apply the word of God.  We read the Bible.  We want them to read the Bible.  We pray.  We want them to pray.  Practice.. so they know how.  Example so they see it modeled.

    We "know" these principles on the sports field or in the dance studio.  We leave behind these principles in the church pew.  Why?  Because we need to worship.  We need to pay attention.  Well, I submit that God has blessed me with children and one of the most important things I can teach them... is to worship.  Their worship is important to God, too.  Childlike faith.. that is the faith we are called to.  Worship with children helps me to experience this type of faith.  To pay attention to my children and train them allows me to pay better attention to worship.  It requires that I pay attention to what worship really means, how it should really be practiced and how our family trains for it.

     Practice requires doing the same thing over and over again.  Practice requires caring every time you do it.  Practice requires attention every time you do it.  Practice requires perseverance.  So we weekly bring our children to a church pew, bow our heads, close our eyes, read scripture, pray, listen, praise, look inward, examine our hearts, fellowship and encourage our children to do the same.  We bring them to practice our Christian disciplines.  We practice worship in our homes.  We want to worship our God who is worthy of our worship.  We want our children to know, love and worship our God.  We want to disciple them in their relationships with the Lord.  So, we sit with them in pews and we practice.

What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me—practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you.

   Philippians 4:9

Our Favorite Children's Bible

     We love the Bible and read the King James Version mostly in our home.  However, our children love to hear Bible Stories even before they are old enough to understand, read or hear them from the Bible.  So, we searched for a story Bible to read to them.

     As it turns out another mother many years ago did the same thing.  She searched bookstores to find a Children's Bible she thought would teach her children and endear their hearts to the Bible.  She couldn't find one.  So, she decided to write one.  Her name was Catherine Vos.  Her husband was first professor of Biblical Theology at Princeton Theological Seminary, Geerhardus Vos .

     This version appeals to us because it is told in a narrative format.  Almost as if your grandma was sharing the stories with her grandchildren.  It is based on the King James Version.  It was first published in 1935 in a three volume set.  I own it in the one volume set that was published later.  It contains 110 stories from the Old Testament and 92 from the New Testaments.

     Mrs. Vos weaves the story of redemption throughout the stories she tells.  She doesn't water it down.  She uses Child friendly language and you can hear the King James version underlying the text.  She does give some of her own interpretations, reminders of previous lessons and tell the story in summary, so be aware and tell your child if there is something you teach differently in your home. 

     I have found copies in used bookstores and at library sales.. so keep your eyes open.. I will add some pictures of the covers I know of so you can keep an eye out for it.  Oh speaking of pictures.. the Story Bible doesn't have many pictures.  It doesn't really need them.  The stories capture the children's attention without the need for a picture on every page.   

     We use this book from the age of 4.  Usually switching to the KJV at the ago of 6.  This classic children's Bible remains our favorite.  Enjoy the family time, discussion and foundation of God's word as you read these stories. 

    






      Ruth Bell Graham is another mother who used this Bible.  She said of Vos' Story Bible, "I have used The Child's Story Bible for years . . . and can recommend it enthusiastically."

    

Stressing or Blessing?

     I was walking into a store this week with 5 of my children and a woman was walking out with 3 of hers and as I held the door open for her she said God bless you, going in there with all those children~ I am ready to hang mine ~
I wanted to answer I am blessed that is why I have all these children to go in there with...
But I was a bit stunned and she was on the move.
      I have prayed for her and those children daily. Sometimes when we are in a crunch.. trying to g...et out the door last minute or push one more hour on the road... situations that are not normal and are asking a bit more of my children than they may be able to do reasonably.. I will remind them to be a blessing not a stressing. Because what happens in these already stressful times can change the dynamic from us being a team getting through it to us all turning our stress on each other.. or the youngest, slowest, most affected etc.
      When parents are always in a continual state of stress over their children in breaks my heart. We are hurting and we hurt our children. We don't know how so we blame our children. We don't have support so we expect our children to be our support.. etc etc etc. I love my children. And when they stress me.. I always find it is me.. I didn't train them. I didn't manage them well in that situation. I didn't take on my responsibility in that situation.
      My children were immediately like we are glad we are going in the store with you. And I thought those poor children most likely wished they were anywhere else but leaving that store with a mother who would publicly declare she wanted to hang them.
      Giving our children blessings with our mouths, encouragement, approval, love is our job. Publicly it may be even more important that they know when we speak of them specifically to strangers that we are supporting their lives, their beings, their souls and their hearts. I have often thought when people comment negatively on the size of my family that my children have ears. They hear those comments. They hear my answers.
      So, I don't know this woman.. maybe she was having a bad day. I don't know those children.. maybe they were having a bad day. I do know that shopping can be one of the hardest things to do with children. I do know that this mother was trying. So I will pray. Maybe I will cross paths with her again some day. If not at least I can support her and her family in prayer.

Shopping with Children

Shopping with children can be stressful. So we have rules.. and they are reminded of them every time they go in a store.
1. It is your job to stay near me. You need to watch me. I am here to gather groceries, clothes, household needs.
2. One finger touch.. we teach one finger touch as soon as children reach out for things... 10-12 months I'd guess.. Baby Jason is 15 months and has been doing it for awhile now it seems and at least the last 4-6 weeks nearly consistently.
3. If you ask the answer is no. I will offer if I want to buy you something.
Unspoken rules that are just family rules that apply to shopping
4. If you have your own money you can spend it as you please.
5. Under the age of 6 you hold hands with an adult (someone 13 or up) in the parking lot
6. You quickly obey at all times, but especially in public where I am sense or see something before you do.
7. Older kids always keep an eye on younger ones.. I am distracted by the task at hand.
When there are issues and I get stressed.. we do a practice run with Jason at another time.. so he can watch for behavior. We have left a store once (I returned the child to my house and came back to buy the food I had left at customer service) And twice we have done training because it seemed our children needed some reminding of the rules. "Training classes" have been done more for getting in and out of vehicles that for anything else... can you imagine.. anytime we change seats, or sometimes because the season changes we have to train for getting that back row in and out and then the middle row and getting little children in and out and who is responsible to help)
I try not to go to more than 3-5 stores in a row.. if I do we stop for a snack in between. I always tell them the itinerary for shopping day so they have an idea of where we are going. We may stop at swings or run in a field for 5 minutes or so if I know we are going to have a long day. We normally only go shopping 65 or so times a year. I don't like to shop. Having children help with looking for sales tags (Jillian will say is this the store with yellow clearance tags..etc so I know they are watching) or help look for the next item.. cut coupons.. or even bring coupons they have found for snack items helps them to be involved. I do ask if they need anything while we are out. When I tell then the plan they may say oh mom I wanted to get marbles for a project we will be near the dollar store can we stop there.. a young adult may say I wanted to stop at Old Navy they have a sale on t-shirts this week.. and I may add their stops to the list.. or offer them another time that is better for the family schedule.
We are a testimony. Out in public we are definitely a testimony. People comment all the time.. how I talk to my children, how my children obey, how helpful they are, what good siblings to each other they are, etc etc. They also assume certain things.. we are of some religion.. we don't use birth control.. etc etc.. so it is important that we are well behaved and open to conversations. Have an answer ready and able to actually effectively get the task done.

NO saying NO!

I am sitting in a Diner with another family. We all have empty plates in front of us. The children are restless. We are waiting for the check. Finally, my children go under the table to play. Yep on the floor… however, I am holding a baby and in a booth with people on both sides of me. My friend is horrified. I am letting them play on the floor, under the table where people put their feet.

I respond calmly, I can say No.. Get up here. And perhaps they will obey. But I am not in any position to discipline them if they do not obey. Therefore, playing on the floor is the better solution. Saying no this and no that, takes away the meaning of the word no. If we say NO, we must be able to insure that No really means NO.

Because I could not do so.. I said NO I will not tell them to come up here. The risk was to great. If they learned I could be disobeyed in certain situations, when trapped in diner booths, when waiting for a bill, etc. They would wait for a similar situation and disobey again. If I was on the end of the booth, if my husband had been there, then I would have been able to say No playing under the table, please come sit up here. And if they did not comply I would have been able to discipline them if they didn’t.

Do not say “No” when you can not enforce it. Do not say no at all if you can help it. Saying No as little as possible is one of our parenting goals. It means I have to think as a parent if the No is necessary. It means my children respect the word NO when I say it.

I am in the kitchen making dinner and my 10 year old asks to bake a cake. I want to say, “Can’t you see I am making dinner.. I am using the oven.. You will be in my way.. No you can not make a cake right now.” But if I do I will hurt her feelings. So I stop and think. She wants to make a cake for dessert, her desire is not wrong, mean or negative in anyway. So I say with a smile, “Yes you can make a cake.. Just mix it on this counter and when I have all the food on the table we will put it in the oven.”

My darling three year old is building with blocks and her brother messes up her masterpiece. I watch quietly. She protests loudly and starts to move toward him with a hand in the air. I am not longer quiet.. NO! Put your hand down! She immediately does so. No isn’t said that often. Therefore, she knows it is to be obeyed instantaneously. Peace is restored as the older child quickly apologizes. It seems he didn’t recognize the blocks were a masterpiece. Catching her hand in midair and being able to control it. Taught her that she is not allowed to hit. Yes, I will have to watch and be sure to catch her the next time or two. However, No being a respected word will make this much easier training.

I have watched the mothers at the park, in the grocery store, saying No to this and No to that and then giving in or worse yet seeing themselves disobeyed and laughing. He never listens they will say and go on talking. They have just taught that no has no meaning. Silence would have been better.

Use NO wisely. Use it when you mean it. Use it when you can discipline and back it up. Say yes as much as you can.

$20 Potty Training Program

     It is that time again.. a child has made it to the age of three... going potty when she wants to but not all the time.  So, it is time to implement my $20 potty training program... nope you do not have to send me $20...

     Here is how it works... I go to the dollar store and the soon to be potty trained child picks out 20 of the most wonderful toys ever made from their wide selection... and I buy some poster board.. ok so it is a $20.69 program... and some stickers.. so $22.69

     And then we come home, put on underwear or our birthday suit depending on the seaspn.  We put the wonderful treasure in a basket or on a shelf.. somewhere they can be seen.. Then we make a chart.. with 200 squares.. When there is a successful trip to the potty a sticker goes on the chart.. and when the chart get 10 stickers.. they get to select a prize.

By the time they have earned all 20 prizes they have gone to the bathroom successfully 200 times.  And Voila! a potty trained child.

The Price of "Paying" Attention To our Children

“The more attention you pay your child, the less attention your child will pay to you.” John Rosemond

I read this words recently in a book. And I thought for a second~ that can’t be right~ Children NEED our attention. Then I thought about where my children were at that moment while I was reading a book. One was upstairs watching a video. The two littlest ones were in the playroom playing house with dolls and their kitchen set. The boys were playing a game together. None of them had my attention at the moment~ and I had no plans to spend time with them till snacktime in 20 minutes. This statement was true. I had just heard so often how we must “PAY” attention to our children. That I couldn’t see the real meaning.

When parents spend all day watching their children.. the children expect to be watched.. and learn that they must have attention all day. And they whine, cry, misbehave etc to keep the attention on them. Giving our children a schedule, chores, rules and time with us~ has kept this in balance. We have a family meeting every morning. We have family time every night. We meet at the table 6 times a day for meals and snacks. We do not pay attention to our child all day long, every second and if you do.. I believe you will pay the price of having children that require, as well as demand your attention and that will NOT pay attention to YOU without great efforts on your part.

Our children know what is expected.. but when I am not teaching then, baking with them, cleaning with them etc.. they have freetime and freedom to go anywhere on the property as long as when I call they come. When there is an issue they lose freedom and have to stay where I can hear them.. if again there is a problem they have to stay where I can see them.. if again there is a problem they have to stay where I can touch them.. if there is a problem again they sit on my lap...

I can't remember a time where it has gone beyond stay where I can hear you. They are busy ~ playing, creating, reading etc. I don't hover over them.. I do stay aware. I do know them.. study them. I do spend time with them.

When I call them.. they know I have something to share with them.. maybe a game, or a task, or a new skill, maybe a video I think they might enjoy etc. They look forward to my call, they know the hours of family time.. and we enjoy one another and learn together. There is nurturing, caring and many discussions. When we have to discipline it is swift and often retraining is involved. But they are brief moment and peace is restored. The know I am here and present and for most children that is security. When they need my attention they invite me to an activity with them. I don’t have to “pay” attention, I can enjoy relationships and experiences.

Quote is from The New Six-Point Plan for Raising Happy, Healthy Children by John Rosemond.  I do not agree with everything he writes.. but he has some great points.  As always, hold everything up to the light of scripture.

Child Centered or Christ Centered the Choice is Yours

     “My children are the most important thing to me.” People say this everywhere, all the time. And it makes me want to scream. Children are blessings.. They are not things. The relationship with our children, the success of our children, our children’s salvation, the character of our children these are all important things to me.

Children have folly in their hearts. The are the best kind of fools. The are growing and seeking and learning… they will outgrow their foolishness. If we lead them, parent them, mentor them, pray for them, teach them, guide them, instill good habits and live with wisdom before them. All to often I see families where the children lead the home. They decide the schedule, they decide the diet of the home, they decide the shopping habits, they control the relationships, especially the marital relationship, they are tyrants. This is America we do not like tyrants as leaders… or so we claim.

 

Yet, I see it all the time out in public. The smallest member of the family, who is often the loudest, making decisions for the whole family. “I want this!” and “this” is purchased. And there is no thought of if it was a wise purchase.. It just makes the awful sound from the tyrant stop. “Can’t we go to McDonalds?” “I want this chocolate cereal with marshmallows and chemicals and lots of sugar THIS ONE with the picture of my favorite character from the magic box in the living room” These foolish little creatures don’t know what is healthy, they are being convinced by marketers that they NEED those foods and they get YOUR hard earned MONEY by using these little tyrants.

 

They need to be involved in activities. So we drive them, pay for lessons, buy the needed supplies, buy pictures and gifts and tickets for recitals and championships etc. They need quality time so we make time for them in our routines. The have to get their homework done so we spend our evening family time doing homework with them. They need a good breakfast and sleep so we let them sleep in as long as they can and then shove a pop tart in their hand. They must socialize so they are driven to friends houses for sleepovers on the weekend. We spend our time making the tyrants happy. We fulfill their needs. We don’t consider what they really need. Family time, skills for living, responsibilities, fellowship, practice of skills they have chosen to develop, time to be creative, time outside in nature, time to play and grow, time to read and write. We entertain them, push them, remind them again and again, do things for them they should do for themselves and then question why they are lazy, not grateful and have high expectations of their needs being met.

 

The nucleus of a cell determines if the cell will be healthy or not. A Christ centered home will produce the healthiest family unit. Christ is not a tyrant. Christ served and sacrificed, taught wisdom and lived His life to obey His Heavenly Father. If we want healthy families… we need to check our nucleus. Is it a tyranical fool or a loving Savior. Is our nucleus leading to proper functions or slowly killing itself? The nucleus determines the health of the whole cell. Is your family healthy or a place of stress, power struggles, confusion and pain?

 

Looking at what is at the center of your home is the key to change. Who is controlling the time, the money, the atmosphere? Whose needs are being met ~ are they real needs or simply wants? Parenting requires maturity. It requires choosing what is best. Children are blessings if we train them, when we teach them, when we keep them in the proper place within the home. Children will cause the most amount of stress when they are the center of the home. When you see a stressed mother. You will know she serves a tyrant. When you see a blessed mother you will know she is serving a benevolent ruler.

 

Society will tell you parenting is hard, children are difficult, we are supposed to be stressed ~ we are parents. I don’t see that in the Bible. I see children are blessings, teach them, remember God with them, show them wisdom, disciple them, be blessed through them in your old age. Stressful children does not seem like a biblical idea to me. We have accepted a worldview that is not based on the Bible when we expect stress from our children.

 

So what about my home? What do I do when things are stressful in my home. I know that sometimes life’s situations are stressful. When things continue to be stressful I look for the foolishness I have let slide, usually to please a little tyrant. Yes it happens in my home. I decide not to get up and handle a situation, not to give a consequence and slowly the cell is taken over. Place Christ at the center of your home. There is immediate clarity in what is acceptable. There is a wonderful book for children called if Jesus Came to My House.. What if Jesus came to your house? Would He be comfortable there? Would He see a healthy family? Would He recognize His teachings in the family government? Would your children serve Him or expect Him to serve them?

My little one is crawling - pulling up on objects - getting around - grabbing everything. She is a sweet gentle child. Today she reached for several things that I had to take away from her before she put them in her mouth. A problem that I don't remember having before. Each time I took the item and said thank you and then put her hand down.
Along with attempting chokable cuisine, my little darling manages to land on her face or look up and fall backwards etc while exploring her world. We try to catch her and more often than not one of us gets there before she manages to cause herself pain. However sometimes... imapact occurs... we have learned to say "YAY YAY she's OKAY!" If all of us who are around her clap for her we can normally distract her before her little pucker face turns into tears.
Why am I telling you about my day? It occured to me that these may be the reason my little dears rarely cry. It never becomes their habit. On her own she would cry when something is taken from her that she wants or when she feels pain. But even now we are attempting to keep her quiet and pleasant even when she doesn't get her way or feels discomfort.

Have an Adventure

I love children's books - I know I am an adult.

Books Fall Open

by David McCord

Books fall open, you fall in
Delighted where you’ve never been
Hear voices not once heard before
Reach world on world through door on door
Find unexpected keys to things
Locked up beyond imaginings
What might you be, perhaps become
Because one book is somewhere?
Some wise delver into wisdom, wit and wherewithal has written it
True books will venture, dare you out
Whisper secrets, maybe shout
Across the gloom to you in need
Who hanker for a book to read.

   I sit and read to my children easily an hour a day - sometimes 2-4 hours a day.  We are currently sharing the adventures of Betsy And Tacy.  Boxcar children book two is ready to be opened we just finished the first book and though we so the ending coming were glad when it happened.

    Not sure where to begin your adventure?  Start with what you enjoyed as a child - Little House on the Prairie, Heidi, Little Women were some of my favorites.  While reading to my children I have discovered new favorites The Twenty-one Balloons, The Education of Little Tree, Ginger Pye and others have fascinated  us.

   If you don't feel comfortable reading out loud, can't for long periods of time without losing your voice or spend a lot of time in your car or quietly in a room working on projects as a family don't overlook audio books.  We listened to The Courage of Sarah Noble on two car trips recently and my children have been heard telling themselves to keep up their courage.  I love when they are inspired by books.  Jonathan Park has been a new discovery for us - lots of information to learn but entertained the whole time. 

Read - Let your children see you.  Read to them.  Compose stories about your family and read about them.  Find books that give your more ideas of what to read - Honey For A Child's Hear - Books Children Love are on my shelves.  I often see what homeshool catalogs or what specific curriculums recommend FIAR, Sonlight, Ableside.  Take your children to the library - head to a local bookstore for storytime - host a story/craft time in your home. 

Looking at a book often makes me think of Winnie the Pooh's quote

When I first saw you, I knew an adventure was going to happen!

Celebrating Birthdays

I love birthdays - celebrating life - Life Lived and Future hope of a new year.  In my home your birthday is YOUR day  - we will do whatever you want within reason.  Dinner out or making your favorite dinner in.  Make your cake or buy a special order Carvel with extra crunchies.  Play at the park or take you to see a play.  Normally it turns into a marathon day - Donuts - park - McDonald's Play place - Miniature Golf - Chuck E Cheese - Home for Gifts and cake.  I write a letter to each child on their birthday that I hope to give them when they turn 18 or get married.. we will see what feels right.  Friends are invited to our marathon birthday days or a backyard play day/barbecue.  I want my children to know they are blessings, we celebrate the blessing their life is.

Almost time~

It is almost time to start training our wee one - we have been saying no for the last few weeks - human nature I suppose.  We aren't expecting her to obey but we can see she is familiar with the word and knows we will be moving her or taking something away from her when we say it. 

Why this post? We practice attachment parenting rather strongly with our new blessings - breastfeeding on demand, baby wearing, co-sleeper etc.  However, somewhere in the 9-11 month range we begin early child training.  We train child to stay on a blanket, touch with one finger, respond quickly to the words come and no. 

I have held them all for months as they wished to be held.  Somewhere around the age of one that will change too.  We will no longer pick up a crying baby.  Learning to ask for up and wait for our response will be necessary.  We will begin calling the around one year old child and interrupting their play to hold them to train them to accept being held at times they may not want to be.  Our goal again is to have our toddler to ask to be put down but to accept our response without crying or whining.

I am listening to the deep breathing of Julianna in my ear as I type with one hand with her sleeping on my shoulder.  She has been largely in charge of her schedule - who holds her - how long etc - controlling us with cries or sounds of disatisfaction.  My sleeping peaceful child is a blessing,  I know that it is almost time.  In order to bring her to a place where she can willingly submit to God she must first learn to submit her will to her parents.  The work of child training must begin soon - for now I will hold her and pray for her precious soul and life - while my heart treasures the last days of babyhood. 

~Library~

The Free Public Library is an awesome place to help with your personal growth - entertainment - education of your children  - family activities - socialization etc.  The problem I often hear is that the library gets expensive.  Fines scare many people away - lost books - late returns etc.

http://www.libraryelf.com/ can help with that - they can email you when your books are due - when a book on hold is ready etc.  Don't skip the library - it is a great way to save space (you don't have to buy and keep books that you can check out) and a great way to save money.  Be sure to check for online catalog - the ability to put items on hold - interlibrary transfers - audiobooks online - all great services that may be beneficial to your family.

Church is a MUST

Lazy Sunday mornings - big breakfast - NY times crossward puzzle - pillow fights with children - a day to catch up and get things done - a great day for shopping - WRONG!  It is the Lord's Day.  Remember the Sabbath day to keep it Holy.  Set Apart for God.  Going to God's house to worship Him - to hear a message from Him - to fellowship with other believers. 

We live in a world of soccer games and sales on Sundays,  I feel the pull.  The copromise with the world.  The "gray" area.  We must be in church.  If your child is in church from birth to age 21 that is 3 years in church - a degree in theology.  I somehow always seem to feel more tired on Sunday - good thing it is a day of rest.  I think Satan is clever and attacks us more on the day that is to be the Lord's.  Family engagements, sickness - invitations to special events seem to be on Sundays and legitimate reasons. 

Yet, getting up sometimes makes me feel better - getting dressed and shoes and makeup on helps.  Sometimes we have attended church near a family members home.  Sometimes attended a church near soccer fields etc.  All clearly saying that getting to church is a priority to our family.  We want our children to have this habit clearly established in their lives.  Christians seem to be leaving the church for their late teen and young adult years.  And many are not coming back.  We must train our children to be in God's house - to worship - to fellowship - to hear the word of the Lord and apply it.  CHURCH is a MUST.

Season Passess - Reduced Entrance~

In an effort to provide affordable and wholesome entertainment for our family we have tried to have season passes or memberships to theme parks, museums, zoos, aquariums etc.  We usually have season passes to Sesame Place.  For us it is a 45 minute drive - food there is about $5-10 for the day - quick stop at Taco Bell if we need to eat is another $20 if we are careful.  The passes pay for themselves in just a few visits.

Zoo passes and aquarium passes have allowed us time to learn together while spending time enjoying God's creation.  Adding guide books and giving children animals to look for enhanced our experience.  We also buy the upgraded passes when possible so we can bring some friends.  Sharing with friends makes visits even more special.

A good friend bought passes to the zoo and we bought passes to the aquarium and then invited each other so we were able to visit both places.  It may require some saving or setting aside funds.  Having a place you can go when you want and for less money makes it worth it.  Look for season passes - memberships - half price specials - homeschool days etc at places you would like to go.  If your husband works for a company that often donates money don't forget to check for reduced entrance fees based on place of employment.  Group rates are often cheaper too and by combining with just another family or two you may be able to get a minimum of 10 etc making it more affordable for everyone.

It is awesome to get to spend time with your family and to know that you were a wise steward of your resources too.

Fun for children - Free or almost Free

This morning I took my children to our local mall for a children's breakfast - there was coloring a mothers day card - coloring the inside paper for a flower pot - and a flower and a gift bag - milk - chocolate milk - orange juice - free carousel rides - musical chairs - and prize drawings (every child wins).  We are a single income famiy with four children and going anywhere is expensive when you multiply entrance fees - food - snacks etc by six, however we have been able to find great free or almost free things to do that are fun and family centered.

Here are a few more ideas of places to check in your area - Home Depot has a child's craft time on the first Saturday of every month - check your local libraries - Michael's are other craft stores - Restaurants for Kid's nights (our Pizza Hut hosts one on Tuesdays - coloring, temporary tattoos, cookies, balloons, face painting) - movies for summer programs - restauranys are theme parks for reading programs - book stores for storytimes and crafts or our Border's has a bingo (prize a $5 Border's gift card) ~ local churches for Awana or Bible clubs - family Bible Study Nights and don't forget your park system.

    Enjoy your children and your community.  Word of caution don't over commit  - Home is the best place to sing, read, do arts and crafts, play games etc.